Unfocused self loathing black kid ๐Ÿคด๐Ÿพ

I can’t focus anymore. There’s SOOOO much I want to focus om, so many things I want to try but I can’t. I’ve been so misfortune. Getting kicked out at 14 and still not having a real place to stay at 20. Jumping from state to state, city to city just trying to find somewhere I can call home for more than 3 months. Always worrying about money, because with out it I won’t be able to survive the next 24 hours. Self medicating with drugs and self sabotaging myself every chance I get because I just think sometimes ‘whats the point?’ 

Now this is not a cry for help or a pity post… Honestly I don’t know what this is. I feel like nobody cares about me. I feel like I don’t care about myself. I feel like laying down going to sleep and not waking up. 

I think I need more self confidence. I know I need to change my bad habits. I need to stop writing this post right now and focus. Focus on me. Use this self loathing energy, transmute it in to something else. Something positive. Because at the end of the day, even if nobody cares about me. If nobody is checking up on me. I know 1 person that give a fuck. Me. 

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